Mental Hygiene the best thing you've done for your brain all day

Okay, Pandora. Get ready to write a big check to Vince Guaraldi.

More embarrassing in a political tweet, comparing Obamacare to the Nazis, or using then instead of than?

I think I just realized that I qualify as “adult supervision”

How did that happen?

The lady at the post office said it would cost extra to handle my package because it had too much girth.

That’s what she said.

Freelancers: never work for the exposure. The only people for whom exposure pays the bills are strippers.

CC @freshbooks

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, so I took a photo and uploaded it to 4chan. Now he’s been doxed. #updatedcarols

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth that I lost in a scuffle on Black Friday #updatedcarols

I’m dreaming of an ethnically diverse Christmas #updatedcarols

Vegan, gluten free, fair trade chestnuts roasting on an open carbon neutral fire #updatedcarols

We wish you a merry Christmas, or we would if it wouldn’t offend too many people, so happy holidays instead #updatedcarols