09
Jun 00

minirant

I have added a page at http://option8.home.mindspring.com/kernelnotes.html of some of the miscellaneous comments that appear in the Linux kernel, version 0.01 (ca. August, 1991).

Linus turns out to be quite the jokester, leaving all kinds of non-sequitirs and irreverent one-liners in the code, many of which survive today in the latest developmental releases.

I thought to archive these and share with those people who aren’t the types who go diving through ten year (gasp!) old code for kicks. Enjoy.


08
Jun 00

minirant

a gay man told me today that i have nice legs. i’m not sure how to respond to that.


08
Jun 00

minirant

oh, the joys of translating a printed annual report into a website. think about it – a book, into a website. then, of course, consider the challenge of translating a way cool annual report design – one that is taking the form of an “interactive” poster – and translating that into a website. then throw on top of all that the requirement by the client that the site be translated into 6 languages and be universally accessible – i.e. no javascript, no image-as-text (it would have to be translated), no plugins, no animation.

this is my day job.


06
Jun 00

minirant

in addition to a mild site redesign (okay, one new page) i have set up a mental hygiene mailing list for discussions, rants, and miscellanea. to subscribe, send an email to MH-subscribe@mentalhygiene.com or MH-subscribe-digest@mentalhygiene.com for digests.

once i get it all together, there should be a form to put in your email address somewhere on this page to subscribe. look for that in the next couple of days.


05
Jun 00

minirant

you will see that the format of mentalhygiene has changed somewhat.

i have decided that, too often, i think to write something in this space, but decide it is too short or undeveloped to call a full-fledged rant.

and so, to make this more like a typical weblog, i’m going to start putting minirants in this space on a more regular basis. longer rants, and submissions by outside contributors will still appear at the rant page the most current of which will be linked above.


03
Jun 00

mission unpalatable 2

today turned out to be a nasty, muggy, rainy day. so, i went to see a movie.

tom cruise, ving rhames, and a bunch of other folks i’ve never seen before, in Mission Impossible 2, directed by John Woo.

on a scale of 0 to Pi, I give it e. it was a pretty good way to waste a couple of hours, though i’m not sure about the almost $20 i had to spend to get in, get a drink and some popcorn. and this was a matinee.

to wax nostalgic, i remember when movies were 5 bucks, 3 for a matinee. and on a good day, you could smuggle in your own food.

note to the theatre owners: what is all this money paying for? tom cruise’s hair and makeup? aren’t you guys getting anything out of all this? honestly, the theatre’s only a couple years old, and it’s getting pretty ragged. one thing i will say, no matter how crusty the rest of the theatre was, the bathrooms were clean

and after two and a half hours of movie and half a gallon of cherry coke, i needed the comfort of a clean bathroom for a little while

and another thing, guys. don’t try to make a terrible sound system sound like a million dollar THX system just by doubling the volume.

when i leave a movie, i don’t want a headache unless it’s from the light outside suddenly stabbing into my retina.

i don’t want to be nauseated, either. damn.

note to john woo: how, in an age where we have digitally enhanced post production, computer-generated effects, and mechanically guided camera shots, can you make a movie that gives people motion sickness? how is it that the camera spent half the movie shaking like in an old star trek episode? were you shooting on a fault line?

now, i’m not usually traumatized so by a movie – i can get on any ride at the fair with a hot dog and a funnel cake sloshing around in my stomach, and not feel a thing – but i’ll be damned if john woo’s earthquake camera work didn’t pull it off.

and, finally, mr. woo, i understand you spent a lot of money on the action sequences in this film, probably paying off tom cruise’s hazard insurance for doing his own stunts, but did you really need to show every sequence four times (the first time at full speed, the second and third in slow motion, from different angles, and the fourth without sound. ooh) the motorcycles blew up, but the riders didn’t. i could have gotten that with one shot.

and, to whoever cast this thing (or, instead, to whoever decided it was all to happen in australia) even an ignorant american like myself can tell the difference between an english, irish, and australian accent. either a: cast australian actors, b: train your english and american actors on what an australian accent sounds like (hell, lucy lawless can do a decent american accent, and she’s straight out of Oz), c: have the action take place somewhere in europe – to explain all the anglo accents, or, finally, d: let everyone know up front that the population of australia, for the purposes of the movie, will consist of ten americans, a half dozen british subjects, and a couple of real australians, just for local color.

this is, of course, to say nothing of the overbearing exposition and heavy handed plot. pause a moment to let the implications of one scene to sink in before you have a character go off analyzing it and making the details that the intelligent members of the audience appreciate noticing so shallow and obvious the giggling ten-year-old girls in the front row that snuck into the R movie can understand it.

and, as for tom cruise’s hair – i think it’s the best he’s looked since Top Gun (answer your question andy?)


02
Jun 00

Grrrr

Was today Friday? I forgot. It seemed like a Tuesday, because tuesdays are the days I usually get BEATEN SEVERELY

It all started this morning, when I awoke to the sounds of the North American Ruby-Throated-5-A.M.-bird, whose birdy thoughts were something along these lines:
“It’s 5 AM, the sun’s not up, but I sure am.”
CHIRP CHIRP wakey wakey CHIRP CHIRP

perhaps in a past live it was an alarm clock.

CHIRP CHIRP wake up, DAMMIT

and, since my bedroom window was open, I couldn’t help but hear and wake up.

CHIRP CHIRP that loud enough for ya? CHIRP CHURP

Reluctantly, I open one eye and look out the window. It’s not even light out yet, and the clock has some weird number on it. Is that a 5?

And, once I’m awake, no matter how early in the AM it is I can’t get back to sleep, oh no. Since I’m already up, and it’s almost light outside, every sound is amplifyed, even through the window I just closed.

(softly, but still annoying) CHIRP CHIRP you think that will stop me? CHIRP CHIRP

and the neighbor’s dog, which hasn’t shut up in literally three days, chimes in

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

it barks at the air. it barks at the moon. it barks at the sudden quiet it notices when it’s not barking. It’s the stupidest dog I have ever seen, and his owner’s not much better. Keeps the poor, stupid animal on his back porch chained up all day.

Between the chirping and barking, and all the other aplified sounds of the early morning, I’m awake, staring at the ceiling fan, hoping I can just shut my eyes and get the three more hours sleep I deserve. Then I decide it’s futile and head to the couch to watch a couple hours of informercials before starting the day.

“At least it’s Friday”

And when I get to work, all the crap I’ve had to put up with all week long (thought it’s only been a 4 day week, it seems like a lot longer) just gets worse in front of my eyes.

Tom, whose not my boss, but thinks he is, lets me know that everything I’ve done for him this week has been wrong wrong wrong, and even though last week it was his top priority, this was the first chance he had had to look it over, and by the way it was WRONG WRONG WRONG. “Fix it. Now.”

“And while your at it, this is my new top priority, and will be for the next five minutes. Can you do this for me now? And this? And this? Because I’m incompetent and can’t do it myself, I’m delegating it to you. That’s what I do around here. Delegate.”

But, no matter what WAS his TOP PRIORITY, something else is NOW, and that other thing was done, thanks ever so fucking much, but it was done wrong, and will have to be done again. “Sorry I wasn’t very clear last time when I totally ignored your questions about how it should come out, but I was distracted by something shiny.”

And, of course, it was my fault. Everything was my fault. Everything that ever went wrong was my fault.

THAT’S RIGHT, I’M THE REASON YOUR WEBSITE IS A MONTH LATE GOING LIVE. even though you were the one that never had the time to look at it

THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S MY FAULT YOU’RE IMPOTENT AND YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU (though nobody will say so to your face)

SURE! I’M THE ONE THAT BLEW UP THE CHALLENGER.

I SHOT JFK

I KILLED THE ARCHDUKE FRANCIS FERDINAND

YES IT WAS ME ME ME ALL MY FAULT!!!

and then, it’s 5. Friday. 5 PM. Fuck you, Tom, I’m going home.

PS – Thanks, Chuck. This rant thing rocks. I feel a lot better now.


20
May 00

the option8 interview

a while back, i was contacted by Bernice Yeung, a california-based writer and publisher of a magazine titled “Option8.” she thought it might be fun to do an interview – option8 interviews option8. as the issue of the magazine has probably long since come out, though i have yet to see a copy, being on the east coast, i thought i might share the interview with you, my fair readers.

who are you?

jumping quickly into the deep, troubling philosophical questions, are we? well, i have been trying to figure that one out myself for quite some time.

my name is charles mangin, though, depending upon when you met me, and how, you may call me charlie, chuck, charles, option8, bigbrother (‘big’ for short), or any one of several numbers, depending upon which branch of government you work for.

i tend to answer similar questions with statements of fact. i am human, male, heterosexual, caucasian. just under 2 meters in height. just under 100 kilos in mass. i breathe oxygen, and am composed of over 70% water (more or less, depending on the time of day).

or else, we can go another direction entirely, into literary allusions.

who am i? i’m just this guy, you know?

yes, let’s explore you, the other option8, through “literary allusions.” please also feel free to make multiple “pop culture references.”

well, if you didn’t recognize it, that last allusion was to a book that changed my adolescent life – the hitchhikers’ guide to the galaxy, by douglas adams. the trilogy, taken as a whole, combines two of my literary loves – humor and science fiction. british humor, (or is it humour?) especially.

as for pop culture references, i’ll only make this one – pop culture is an oxymoron. who said that? i said that. at least i think i did. the problem with living in a society as cannibalistic as late twentieth century america is that whenever i think i have an original thought, it probably isn’t, and if ever i did, it probably infringes on someone’s copyright.

don’t bother publishing this interview, because we’ll both just get sued :)

actually, truth be told, i didn’t start weaseling around the ‘net for option8.com until a more web design-savvy pal suggested i do so. (i’m not hip to programming for the web, despite a java & html class.) so i was a bit surprised, just because, in my little universe/tiny distribution world, option8 seemed unusual.

and actually, there IS someone else running around with my name, which, again, i thought was unusual. i mean, bernice yeung?! the funny thing was, it was an alumni organization trying to find DR. bernice yeung, who had received a ph.d. in biology in the ’60s. i was 20 years old at the time.

but i guess you’re right — just as in pop culture, most things that will ever happen probably already have, names included. just a reflection of my tendency to be self-absorbed…

so, have you found others?

no, only charles ‘the butcher’ mangin of the french 6th army. if you can find a picture of him, he’s quite a grim character.

my brother shares his name with the long-time groundskeeper of the atlanta braves (spelled differently). every now and then, he’ll hear his name on tv as some sportscaster decides to be obscure and mention the people responsible for seeing that the grass is kept green, etc.

have you found other option8’s?

only in lists of options, option 1, option 2, etc.

but, with the obvious exception, nobody calling themselves that, no.

question no. 6: how would you describe your web site, mental hygiene, and how did it get started? were you option8 before or after the web hygienics?

first of all, i was option8 long before the web antics i pull off these days. when i was in school, i always tried to make my project, however inane, seem like professional productions, including credits, special thanks, and all the rest. i came up with several fictional design firms as umbrellas for these things. for a while, i considered myself a pixel pusher, so i went with ‘pixel pushers design’ then i found an actual pixel pushers software company and stopped that. i went through several until i hit on ‘option8 multimedia’ which seemed to have a better feel to it than any of the others, and since i had been calling myself charles ‘option8’ mangin for a while for no discernible reason, online in particular, it seemed a natural.

but as for the current incarnation of option8, mental hygiene started out as a comic strip, again while i was a student. i worked for the school newspaper at NCSU, Technician, alternately as a writer, designer and cartoonist – for a while all three at once. i wrote and drew four different cartoons in my time there, sometimes overlapping. MH was a great release for me, since i not only used it as a little political and moral platform to make fun of just about everybody, but i also did it under an assumed name (so that it wouldn’t seem like i drew _every_ comic on the page. at the time i had 3 running at once)

these days, the MH comic is just a side note on the site, and the site itself is just one of the side projects for option8 multimedia. i write little missives or rants about whatever strikes my fancy, and occasionally have other people contribute, always with the opportunity for readers to ‘rant back’ if they so choose. some might call it a ‘weblog’, but i’ve been doing something similar in various incarnations since long before the term was in vogue.

do you like pranks (we here at o8 like to call it “fucking with people”)? what is your favorite way to “fuck with people?”

i also enjoy ‘fucking with people’ but do most of my.. er.. fucking, in traffic.

i like to blow kisses and make faces at people in other cars. it tends to spice up a long road trip, or make the few seconds waiting in line at a red light pass that much faster.

i also like to play pranks on people’s computers. i write applescript in my spare time, as well as some director dabbling, and like to make people think their computers are talking to them, or that there’s something wrong with them. my favorite is to put a screen grab on the desktop and hide all the real icons.

but by far my favorite way to fuck with people is to get back at all the junk mailers that send me ‘preapproved’ credit card offers, and all kinds of other junk in my mailbox. i like to cut up their mailings into confetti-like chunks and stuff the chunks into the prepaid return envelopes. i’m sure i’ve caused more than one mail house some grief, however temporary, with that one.

wow! those are great ways to fuck with ppl! congrats!

so, ok, you fuck with people. but do you also fuck shit up? that is, are you ever moved to extreme bouts of political activism? is there a cause/issue/situation that just completely gets yer goat? what pisses you off, and what do you do about it?

well, no. i’m not the type to go out and fuck shit up. i feel strongly about a lot of issues, but i’m not going to go out and take a rubber bullet or get arrested for the cause. as far as political activism goes, i vote my mind, when i know it. that and i write MH. but neither seem to make much of a difference, now that i’m seeing people in seattle dodging tear gas cannisters.

the political issues that get to me most are discrimination – especially against homosexuals. many of my friends and most of my coworkers are gay, though i myself am not. for instance, i think that there should be no reason to deny a homosexual couple getting married or adopting children. on a related tangent, i’m also fed up with being governed by religious (and by that i mean conservative protestant christian) “morality” and values. considering i live in the first notch in the bible belt (north carolina) it’s understandable, but everything trickling down from the federal level smacks of sunday meeting politics.

consider the three most powerful lobbies in washington are the NRA, the religious right, and the AARP. of the three groups, the only one i remotely align myself with is the AARP, since i’ll eventually be old myself. but i’ll never own a gun, and i’m not likely to get a dose of self-righteous religion any time soon.

so what do you think about the vermont supreme court decision? have you heard about CA’s knight initiative?

i’m not one to follow the news all that closely unless it effects me personally, so i’m not familiar with either of those issues.

would you label yourself left, progressive, liberal, independent, moderate, conservative, right-wing or none of the above? if none of the above, how would you describe your politics? and who do you want to see as president in 2000?

with regards to labels, i consider myself a radical reactionary. if you remember political science from high school or college, those two terms are the far left and the far right of the scale. i figure, when i do actually care enough about an issue to form an opinion, my opinions are very strong in one of the two directions. and they vary based upon what issue is being dealt with.

in some instances, i’m very conservative – some things were better in the ’50s, dammit. and on other issues, i’m very liberal – old systems and ways of thinking have to be abandoned in lieu of what we’ve learned in the last 50 years.

of the labels you listed, i would like to think i’m progressive (whatever that has come to mean lately), but i prefer the term ‘practicalitarian’. i’m very practical – if it works, i’m all for it.

i would like to see a woman as president in 2000, though it won’t even be a remote possibility until 2020 or so. by that point, we will have begun another political generation, with much more openness to new ideas, which i don’t think any of the candidates have shown thus far. i don’t think he’s even in the running, but the discordian in me would like to see jesse ventura in the white house. if nothing else, it will finally kill strom thurmond.

and my last question:
who am i?

so, should i answer ‘who am i?’ or is the reader supposed to figure that out? and by who am i, do you mean ‘who am _i_ charles option8 mangin? or who am you, bernice option8 yeung?

Error: too many levels of recursion. Core dumped.

the questions is: who am i (the zinester option8)?

ah.. who are you?

good friggin’ question. i have no idea. all i know is you are a mac- and internet-savvy writer and you publish your own underground, if that’s the proper term, magazine devoted to strange and socially responsible topics.

i also gather that you’re young, asian, and female, and, despite all that, you have yet to appear nude on the internet.

chilling, west-coast style, you rub elbows on occasion, whether accidentally or intentionally, with the odd celebrity.

that you also happen to share a pen name with me is pure coincidence.

hey, don’t you think you should be doing your own self-examinations?


19
May 00

que pasa?

so, no rants in a while? what’s up?

i thought i’d take a second to let the people that read this site (all four of you) know what’s happening.

well, let’s see.. it’s been a busy month at work, i’m buying a house, and.. well.. that’s about it.

as soon as i can dredge up the files, i’ll post an interview i gave about myself and the Option8 network with a west-coast ‘zine, oddly enough, called Option8. it makes for a confusing interview (two different option8s asking and answering questions…) should be a fun read.

anyhoo, look for it next week.

after that, expect a series of full-on rants about real estate, city government, and yardwork.


01
May 00

proverb

Fall Seven times.
Stand up Eight.

   — Japanese Proverb