Mental Hygiene the best thing you've done for your brain all day

There is no I in TEAM, but there is MEAT.

Congratulations to Bill @TheScienceGuy Nye for refraining from the use of “nutjob” during yesterday’s debate.

Ill-fitting yoga pants are the new “mom jeans”.

When the Hellmouth opens, it will be disguised as a Monkey Joe’s.

Cashier at the Liquor Store: “Big Super Bowl party, huh?”
Me: “The what now?”

The decongestant bottle says not to exceed four pills in 24 hours.

My sinuses say, “Challenge, accepted!”

Flying Spaghetti Monster, give me strength.

I can’t remember when I stopped looking forward to staying out late, and started looking forward to going to bed early.

Heading out to @aigaraleigh event… but first EGGS! BREAD! MILK! SNOW!

Sometimes I just want to put my hands up in the air, and wave them around as if I care very deeply about something.