Mental Hygiene the best thing you've done for your brain all day

100° and sunny. Two shady parking spaces, and you’re parked in both. You win. #assholeoftheday

Once again the formula of Unfamiliar Vegetable + Oil + Roasting = Yummy works to my advantage.
Tonight’s UF = fennel bulb.

Only English beer would be made better by mixing with lemonade. #theshandyisalie

You remember your dad saying, “Close that door! We can’t air condition the whole neighborhood!”?
You think we could try that? #damnhot

Happy half off fireworks day, America!

<– People that understand Venn diagrams. Romney campaign –>
http://t.co/d26SanLt

Andy, Andy, Andy! *sniff*

Made the startling discovery upon returning from vacation that a mouse had been in the house. The two house cats declined to comment.

For some people at the seafood buffet, “all you can eat” is not an enticement, but a lifestyle.

If it’s not illegal to transport this much North Carolina pork product across state lines, it should be. #Nahunta